Bethesda Maryland Guitar Teacher

“Power of Habit” My Fat A**

Friday, August 16th, 2013

Since I am officially gluten sensitive (or would I be gluten insensitive?  I never get those two straight.), I have to compensate for all of the things I cannot eat by smoking.  Just kidding.  I have taken solace by ingesting too much sugar.  And now, I need Antibuse.  For chocolate. I tried to outsmart my […]

Why The French Don’t Get Fat

Thursday, July 18th, 2013

Have you seen the portions of food in France? Neither have I!  Not with the naked eye anyway. You get one transparent piece of ham inside of two small pieces of white toast with a dusting of Swiss cheese crumbs and that’s a “croque monsieur.”  Or more accurately, a “crock monsieur.”  Le Sandwich is Le Starvation Diet. […]

My Wardrobe Nightmare

Thursday, July 4th, 2013

My friend Sue was aghast that I actually got sucked into bidding on one of those Internet “Groupon” type deals.  “You mean you spent $80 for someone to go shopping with you?  I would have done that for you for free!”  I explained that it was a great bargain because normally, the woman charges more […]

My Paper Towel Crisis

Friday, June 28th, 2013

Our upstairs bathrooms needed cleaning. Badly. VERY badly. My husband was at work, my son was at his friend’s house, the dog we were dogsitting went back to his owner, so I had run out of excuses about being “too busy” to clean the bathrooms. If you want to know why I do not have […]

Our Trip To The Amish Country

Friday, June 21st, 2013

Last summer, we went for an overnight in Pennsylvania Dutch Country in Lancaster.  It sounded exciting – well, not exactly exciting per se but you know, sort of interesting and quaint.  Boy, the Amish are all about quaintness!  You can watch them zip about on unmotorized scooters in their plain yet almost uniform-like apparel.  Also so […]

Humorist versus Comedian

Friday, March 22nd, 2013

I would like to be known as a humorist rather than a comedian.  I used to be a stand-up but there’s too high of an expectation of how funny you have to be.  If you are a comic, people want you to make them laugh so hard that they actually start coughing up blood.  I don’t need […]

Hoarders Are Us

Friday, January 4th, 2013

I try to be so organized and always have back-up supplies.  This comes from growing up in a house with 7 people where one small tube of toothpaste was shuttled from one bathroom to the next.  (No wonder I’ve had eleven root canals!) When we ran out of toilet paper, one of my parents would […]

Charging for Bags

Friday, November 9th, 2012

I am having no problem with this new law in our County that charges us a nickel per bag.  But apparently, the people who work the checkout counter are.  They say snarky things like, “so, I guess you didn’t bring any bags DID you?”  I always feel as though I have to be apologetic about […]

More Outrageous Behavior in These Parts (Part II of many more to come I’m afraid)

Friday, June 22nd, 2012

I was at the Grosvenor Market the other day (I’m there every day). There was a man who parked his car illegally in the middle of the parking lot blocking the car of a well-dressed woman. They were both standing by their cars and nothing was happening.  The woman shrugged at me.  A few minutes later, I […]

Mommy Merry Go Round

Friday, June 8th, 2012

02 The Mommy Merry-Go Round by Sally Pessin   Here is a song I wrote for a Simon and Schuster author’s website to assist her in promoting her new baby book.  She hired me to write a humorous song about what it was like to be a new mother.  She took me into the studio, […]