While walking around my neighborhood for exercise, I take note of what is in people’s recylcing bins. I don’t actually pick through them to see what’s underneath the top layer because in the words of Jerry Seinfeld, I would “cross the line between man and bum.” (Giving Jerry attribution puts me in the all-clear for a plagiarism lawsuit and it also avoids my being accused of something far worse: using politically incorrect language.)
I find that my neighbors suffer from some internal paradox in what they consume. There are packages from pesticide-free products, cage-free egg cartons, Greek yogurt cups, Horizon milk sans the hormones, and omega-3 rich sushi boxes. There are clam shells from organic blueberries. (BTW, not real clam shells — it’s what they call those plastic containers produce comes in.) In the other half of the recylcing bin containing the aforementioned items are a plethora of wine, beer and soda bottles. Did I miss the part of the food pyramid that includes , Sam Adams and Diet Coke? These individuals are washing down all of their purified, locally-produced antioxidants with nitrates, fermented yeast and aspartame. There are also lots of black plastic Chinese take-out containers. What this tells me is that the folks on my street start out with a really healthy breakfast and then, as the day moves along, nutritionally, it’s all downhill from there.
Delicious ice cream from the famed Berthillon in Paris. Worth the 45 minute wait you ask? Not so much.
Tags: Bethesda Guitar Lessons, Chevy Chase Guitar Lessons, GuitarFun, Humor Blog, Humorist, Sally Pessin