(yikes!) Greta Van Susteren.  At least that’s what my husband’s friend told me. I would have been highly insulted except that I (gulp) see the resemblance. Kind of scary.  What I was too afraid to ask him was if I look like Greta before or after the eye job. She’s from Wisconsin.  I went to college in Wisconsin.  Separated at birth perhaps? Or perhaps we merely share a hairdresser (she lives in the same area I believe only I’m sure in a tonier zipcode.)

She tends to cover the same subject over and over and over again.  Recently, I’ve come to call her program the “Casey Anthony” show.  She’s a smart gal but holy smokes!  Can’t Fox afford to get her a stylist?  She is the worst-dressed woman on television on any network, in any country.  In all of television history in fact.  Dress me up like Barney but not like Greta.

I think she feels in order to sound authoritative, she has to look masculine.  Now, I don’t think she should look all provocative like Ann Coulter whose boobage is usually so exposed, you can’t pay attention to anything she is saying. Greta has a standard uniform.  An oxford shirt buttoned all the way to the top and an ill-fitting blazer.  No make up, no jewelry, no style. Is this the scientology uniform?  (I believe she is a Scientologist but so is Kirsty Alley and you don’t see her dressed like a man.  A really poorly dressed man.)

The most offensive part of Greta’s outfit is the color scheme.  She will wear a magenta blazer with a black oxford shirt.  Where is Stacey London, from the show, “What Not To Wear”, when you need her?  I’m no fashionista but when I see Greta on the screen, I have to look away. It hurts my eyes. Couldn’t she add some pearls or earrings, bangs or make-up?  She must care about her appearance. If she didn’t care, she wouldn’t have had her eyes done.

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